Today was like sort of terrible uh. Got another week of detention and like quite pissed off with it. after detention today, wanted to go out with Jeremy and the rest, but ended up at band, because wanted to play for national day. lol. then after band, had a fight with Rashid. it turned from a fight using mouths to a fist fight. and yeah, he's got no balls. Then went home.

Today wanted to talk to Joanne, but like failed. wanted to message Joanne in the evening too, but scared that she may find me irritating, so i guess I'd better not. Just like wanted to be friends with her again, as she's like part of the group i talk to and to go to my friend's places and talk to everyone, including her in a circle, and talk to everyone but her is firstly awkward and difficult. Fuck it. Or maybe i just ain't daring enough to do so. I just wanna jump off a building and see what happens. feeling damn worthless now. i'm not scared of slapping rashid, but scared of talking to a girl that i love.

Imagine. you love a girl, she goes out with you on quite a few dates, you made one mistake, and she tells you she loves you less, but love can be built up again. you fall in love with her once again, and then she suddenly avoids you as if you've done something wrong to her, when you didn't even do anything. People have thought wrong about you, but she doesn't let you explain. her best friends tells her lies, and she believes them. You then spend one over months reflecting on what you'd done wrong, ad thinking of her. missing her a lot. you then see her once again, and it seems that the both of you are in two different worlds speaking two different languages. both of you share a same group of friends and yet, the both of you aren't friends. you then find out that she threw you aside for another guy she loves more. yeah, some of you may think that i'm a fucker of some sort, but continuing, you get angry with her. in the end, joanne, reflect: Among all the guys you've dated, which one treasures you the most? Think